Funny Cross Stitch

Senility Prayer - Christian Cross Stitch Pattern
by Joan Elliott
$1399
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Pattern by Joan Elliot featuring the prayer "God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to know the difference".

Stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 101W x 129H and the finished size is 7" x 9".
Antidepressants - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Twin Peak Primitives
$7.00  $629
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The model stitched on 32 ct Grey from Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 46w X 75h. Finished size is 2.88" x 4.69".
Straighten Your Crown - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little Robin Designs
$8.00  $719
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This pattern from Little Robin Designs says "Keep your head high and your crown straight!"

Pattern is stitched on 40 count linen, using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 144 x 65.
Flying Lesson - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  $1169
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Model stitched on 18 ct. Aida "Hazelwood" by Fiber on a Whim using DMC thread. Stitch count is 78 x 125.
Vicious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Artsy Housewife
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from The Artsy Housewife featuring a cheeky cat showing the flower plant who's boss!

Pattern is stitched on 32 Dirty Linen by Zweigart. Stitch count is 129 x 109.
Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$10.00  $899
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A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Model was stitched on 28 Ct. Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using DMC and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Design Size: 6" x 7".

Also needed but not listed is a Mill Hill Acorn button #86166.
Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00  $899
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"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
Women are Angels - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$9.00  $809
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"Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.. on our broomsticks. We're flexible like that!"

Model stitched on 14/28 count Antique White Lugana using Sullivan's floss or DMC floss. Stitch count: 125W x 97H and the finished size is 8.93" x 6.93" on 28 count.
Yellow Polka Dot Bikweenie - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Plum Street Samplers
$10.00  $899
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Model stitched on 36 Ct. Vintage Homespun using Weeks Dye Works, DMC floss, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch count is 239W x 62H. Finished size is 13.28 in wide X 3.44 in high.
Warm Winter Wishes - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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A snowman and his penguin friend warm themselves on a cold Winter night!

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Antique Blue Jobelan with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 86H x 85W. Design Size: 7" x 7"
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
Santa's Helpers - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$8.00  $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".

Contents: chart only. Please note: no fabric, threads, or hoop included.
Old People - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off! And yes, I can say this because I am old!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 70w x 87h.
Busy Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Les Petites Croix De Lucie
$13.80  $1242
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Cross stitch pattern from Les Petites Croix De Lucie featuring a gnome who is very busy in the bathroom!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 81.
Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more
Good Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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I've got a Good Heart.....but this Mouth!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Oatmeal" linen from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 75 x 112.
If I Fits, I Sits - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Vals Stuff featuring a large cat determined to sit in a small box because "If I fits, I sits"!

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct Demoiselle Lugana using Weeks Dye Works threads. Heart button included. Stitch count is 66h x 57w.

Note: There is no DMC conversion listed for Weeks Dye Works Islamorada.
Ho Ho No - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.
This Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. VERY annoying. "I have reached an age where my mind says I can do that! But my body says try it and you'll be sorry"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 89.
Stubborn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea, don't carry, using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 84 x 78.
Envious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 95 x 92.
Bitter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea; we do not carry, using Gentle Art threads listed. Stitch count is 88 x 96.
Cross Stitching Forever - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1044
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Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring a married couple with the phrase "Marriage, when dating goes to far"!

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct Caramel Macchiato from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 87 x 110.
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61 x 65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
Good Morning - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.
Coffeeology - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$10.00  $949
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.
Mr. Beer Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  $759
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring MR. BEER GNOME that is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 128w x 115h.
Coffee Definitions Eternity - Cross Stitch Pattern
by AuryTm
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from AuryTm featuring a coffee cup with the text "Eternity / Time it takes coffee to brew in the morning"

Model stitched on 28 count Mystic Grey linen using DMC thread. Stitch count is 71 x 101.
Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Ink Circles
$8.00  $719
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Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more
Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  $1259
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"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
If You Fall - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$15.00  $1349
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"You & I are sisters. If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up - after I stop laughing!" Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Stitch Count: 216H x 119W. Design Size: 15.42" x 8.50"
Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00  $809
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"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread and DMC floss. Stitch count is 221W x 72H.
Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.
My Funny Valentine - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00  $899
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"My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine, you make me smile with my heart. Stay little Valentine stay." Model stitched on 36 Ct. Sand Linen by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler threads.
Stitch Count: 125x333. Design Size: 7" x 19"
Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00  $809
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!"

Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70 x 121.

Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana... Read more
Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Prairie Schooler
$8.00  $719
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Pattern by Prairie Schooler featuring four fun decisions with cute sayings including, "Keep it Simple,", "Measure Twice, Cut Once", "Plan Ahead" and "The Witch is In".

Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch counts and... Read more
Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00  $539
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A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H.
Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h.
Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over two threads on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Comes with 3 small red buttons. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.
Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little House Needleworks
$7.00  $629
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Hen Party by Little House Needleworks features a cute farm scene with chickens roaming around in front of a house and red barn.

Model stitched on 28 ct. linen using DMC & Crescent Colours floss. The stitch count is 82 x 54 and the finished size is 5.86" x 3.86".

Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company.
I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Crochet, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Crotchet and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more


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