Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $719
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
All Are Equal in Death - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Modern Folk Embroidery
$10.50  $996
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Cross stitch pattern from Modern Folkart Embroidery featuring a skeleton and the phrase "Are all equal in death".

Stitched over 2 threads on 32 count linen (or over 1 on 16ct Aida) it would measure approximately 8" by 12" (20.5 by 30.5 cm). It has a total of 6368 crosses.... Read more
Dirty Dishes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  Sale $959
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This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  $1259
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"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
Thrills & Spills - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  Clearance $838
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Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high
Turnip the Beet - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$10.00  $899
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"Lettuce turnip the beet peas" Model stitched on either 32 Ct. White Belfast or 32 Ct. Chalkboard Black (DMC 08 not used on Chalkboard Black) using DMC floss. Stitch Count 80x80. Design Size: 5" x 5".
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61 x 65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
Deja Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style says "Deja Poo - a feeling that one has see or heard this crap before."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Shadow linen from Picture This Plus with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 70x70. Finished size: 4.37" x 4.37".
Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1044
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"
Trophy Husband - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: My husband was pleased as punch when I designed this chart in his honor and mark my words, Your cowboy will be just as tickled when you stitch this up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct linen. Stitch count is 63 x 63.
Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more
Real Men - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.
Beach Please - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the words "Beach Please" on a background of ocean waves with a palm tree and rising sun.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 181 and the finished size is 7.9" x 12.9".
Boo Bees - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring two bumblebees dressed up like ghosts with the words "Boo Bees".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 148 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.6".
Book Is Better - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring books on a shelf and the saying "The Book is Always Better".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 97 and the finished size is 7.9" x 6.9".
Buying Supplies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the funny phrase "As I get Older, I'm finding out that buying supplies and using them are two seperate hobbies" with sewing notions.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 160 x 150 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.7".
Canning Season - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with a ball mason jar and the words "Grab your balls, it's canning season".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 182 and the finished size is 10" x 13".
Cats Make Me Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a black cat in front of a colorful background with the words "Cats make me happy, humans make my head hurt".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 143 x 190 and the finished size is 10.2" x 13.6".
Chickens Crossing Roads - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a chicken with the funny words "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 149 x 208 and the finished size is 10.6" x 14.9".
Crops Out - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a row of plant crops with the words "Rock Out With Your Crops Out".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 167 x 78 and the finished size is 11.9" x 5.6".
Define Naughty - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny Christmas pattern that reads " Dear Santa, Define Naughty".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 107 x 74 and the finished size is 7.6" x 5.3".
Dill With It - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a pickle and the words "Dill With It".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 141 x 200 and the finished size is 10.1" x 14.3".
Dog Approved - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with paw prints and dog bones and the words "All guests must be approved by the dog".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 167 x 169 and the finished size is 11.9" x 12.1".
Easily Distracted - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with house plants and the words "Easily Distracted By Plants".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 139 x 127 and the finished size is 9.9" x 9.1".
Fall Apart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a taco with the funny words "Every now and then I fall apart".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 115 x 171 and the finished size is 8.2" x 12.2".
Fall Is - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1425
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a pumpkin with the words "Fall is my second favorite F word".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 102 x 119 and the finished size is 7.3" x 8.5".
Get Naked - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1425
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design for your home that reads "Get Naked, just kidding. This is a half bath. Don't make it weird".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 106 x 130 and the finished size is 7.6" x 9.3".
Go Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a Christmas elf that reads "Go -elf- Yourself".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 138 x 150 and the finished size is 9.9" x 10.7".
Good Moms - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a hand mixer and the words "Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 131 x 123 and the finished size is 9.4" x 8.8".
Hizzle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a house and the words "Bless This Hizzle, fo'Shizzle".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 138 x 155 and the finished size is 9.9" x 11.1".
Home Is - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a sweet looking home with a the words "Home is where those F****** Ain't".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 128 and the finished size is 11.4" x 9.1".
Honey Maker - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design of bumblebees with the words "Shake Your Honey Maker".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 136 and the finished size is 11.4" x 9.7".
Hot Mess - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny sign that reads, "I'm not a hot mess, I am a spicy disaster".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 110 x 100 and the finished size is 7.9" x 7.1".
Lake Life - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with the words "Lake Life, 'cuz beaches be salty".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 158 x 160 and the finished size is 11.3" x 11.4".
More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a cup of coffee and the words "I love you more than coffee...but not always before".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 166 x 198 and the finished size is 11.9" x 14.1".
Morning People - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with the words "I hate morning people or mornings or people".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 145 x 158 and the finished size is 10.3" x 11.3".
Need More Space - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with an astronaut and the words "I Need More Space".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 143 x 161 and the finished size is 10.2" x 11.5".
New Shoes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a high heel and the words "Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 139 x 135 and the finished size is 9.9" x 9.6".
Not All Canadians - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a goose with the words "Not all Canadians are polite".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 158 x 89 and the finished size is 11.3" x 6.4".
No Trespassing - Halloween Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a spooky fun Halloween design with the words "No Trespassing, We're tired of hiding the bodies".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 182 x 58 and the finished size is 13" x 4.1".
Peach Pie - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pun design with the words "Life is a Peach and then you Pie".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 137 x 136 and the finished size is 9.8" x 9.7".
Please Knock - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design of a turtle without his shell and a speech bubble saying "Please Knock".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 181 x 181 and the finished size is 12.9" x 12.9".
Poops and Giggles - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with the words "It's all S**** and giggles until someone giggles and S****" with a roll of toilet paper.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 139 x 194 and the finished size is 9.9" x 13.9".
Prepare to Dye - Easter Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny Easter pattern with an egg being dyed and the words "Prepare to Dye".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 139 x 103 and the finished size is 9.9" x 7.4".
Push Your Buttons - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1425
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with the words "I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for mute".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 79 x 116 and the finished size is 5.6" x 8.3".
Shady Beach - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a punny design with palm trees and the words "Nobody likes a shady beach".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 132 x 109 and the finished size is 9.4" x 7.8".


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