Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

I have been wanting to do this pattern for years, I finally made it! I haven't been this proud of a pattern in a long time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 171 x 171. Finished size is 12.21" x 12.21".

Once again the dark souls take over "Live, Laugh, Love" with another macabre iteration of the beige phrase. Lobotomies for all of us!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 133 x 105. Finished size is 8.07" x 7.50".

This fun cross stitch pattern from My Big Toe Designs features the saying, "We all cross our X's one leg at a time" with cute cross stitch motifs.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Ivory Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 95w x 63. Finished size is 5.94" x 3.94".

Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a beautiful sampler design inspired by an old painting with lots of personality.

Pattern is stitched on 40 ct. Natural linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 152 x 94 and the finished size is 7.8" x 4.7".

A playful welcome from the household's most dedicated attendant. This design captures that familiar moment when a curious cat insists on supervising every bathroom visit, peeking around the door with wide?eyed commitment. Stitched in warm, cozy tones with a touch of humor, it's perfect for... Read more about Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat - Cross Stitch Pattern

Model stitched on 18 ct. Aida "Hazelwood" by Fiber on a Whim using DMC thread. Stitch count is 78 x 125.

The model stitched on 32 ct Grey from Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 46w X 75h. Finished size is 2.88" x 4.69".

Pattern by Joan Elliot featuring the prayer "God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to know the difference".

Stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 101W x 129H and the finished size is 7" x 9".

Model inspired by our lovely White Cat Sugar Boy'. Figures are belonging to his daily routine. Cat owners can divert the white color to their bellowed one's colors

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct. Zweigart Cashel Linen Evenweave with DMC floss. Stitch count is 80 x 92 and the finished size is 5.72" x 6.57".

This design by Imaginating features a woman with a smirk and the text "Go ahead. Underestimate me. This will be fun."

Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC thread. Stitch count: 118w x 95h.

Model stitched over two threads on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Comes with 3 small red buttons. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.

"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread and DMC floss. Stitch count is 221W x 72H.

HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Hold On - Cross Stitch Pattern

EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Eye Rolling - Cross Stitch Pattern

BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads Born To Argue - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Be Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. DMC 3890 and 3891 not listed. Stitch count is 225 x 99. Finished size is 16.07" x 6.86".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern that reads "Prone to Shenanigans and Malarkey".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 86 and the finished size is 10" x 6.1".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a cute design that reads "Stitching is my superpower".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 137 x 126 and the finished size is 9.8" x 9"

In the battle of Floss Chicken, sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. An obvious loss on the final letter.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. raw linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 98 x 66 and the finished size is 6.13" x 4.13".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring an angry looking candy corn with the words "Yeah, well I don't like you either".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 89 x 125 and the finished size is 6.4" x 8.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a chicken with the funny words "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 149 x 208 and the finished size is 10.6" x 14.9".

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.

Cross stitch pattern from Vals Stuff featuring a large cat determined to sit in a small box because "If I fits, I sits"!

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct Demoiselle Lugana using Weeks Dye Works threads. Heart button included. Stitch count is 66h x 57w.

Note: There is no DMC conversion listed for Weeks Dye Works Islamorada.

My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92w x 107h.

Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 83 x 93.

Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 74h.

At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.

I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works

"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself"

Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch Count: 103 x 63.

Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and stitched in DMC floss: dark gray (#3799) and red (#321). Feel free to substitute colors and fabrics to your taste. Stitch Count is 120 Wide by 110 High. Will measure... Read more about Stabby - Cross Stitch Pattern

Resting Froggo Face. This design is beginner friendly, using standard DMC colors. Consider swapping out the celestial elements in the witch hat to DMC etoile or your favorite shiny floss. Finished projects from this design are easily finished in standard embroidery hoops or picture frames. Pattern is printed on one sheet, in full color, front & back.

Stitch count is 50w x 61h.

This pattern from Little Robin Designs says "Keep your head high and your crown straight!"

Pattern is stitched on 40 count linen, using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 144 x 65.

Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.

Cross stitch pattern from The Artsy Housewife featuring a cheeky cat showing the flower plant who's boss!

Pattern is stitched on 32 Dirty Linen by Zweigart. Stitch count is 129 x 109.

This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.

Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Cross Stitch and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more about I Just Want To Drink, Cross Stitch, and Nap - Cross Stitch

Cross stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the sentiment "Follow your heart but take your stitching with you"!

Model stitched on 18ct Aida using a mixture of DMC and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80w x 80h and the finished size is 4.44" x 4.44".

Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.

Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more about I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.

Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more about Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern

"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee."

Model stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Finished Size: 8" x 4"

"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"

"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.

"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.

Cross stitch pattern from Little Stitch Girl featuring a spooky Halloween scene with haunted houses, witch, skeleton, ghost, bats, and "Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet"!

Model stitched on 32 Count Linen "Colonial Parchment" with DMC, The Gentle Art, Classic Colorworks, and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch Count: 174W x 97H. Finished size 10.9" x 5.9"

"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.