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Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 3

Dear Santa - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$14.50  $1305
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Cross stitch pattern from Keslyn's featuring a letter to Santa
Model stitched on 28 ct. White Lugana using DMC thread. Stitch count: 120w x 99h
Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Ink Circles
$8.00  $719
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Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more
Fowl Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$9.00  Sale $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a chicken and rooster with the phrase "Fluent in foul language"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. 'Amaryllis' Belfast from Under the Sea fabrics using DMC thread. Stitch count is 63 x 81.
Keep Looking Up - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$11.00  $989
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.
Green Thumb 4-Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring the silly phrases "You grow girl", "Gardening is dirt cheap", "Crazy plant lady" and "Sometimes I wet my plants"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Lemon Chiffon Aida using DMC floss. Stitch counts are 53... Read more
Shuts A Door - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.
Bad Snow Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sister Lou Stitches
$14.50  Sale $1159
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Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.
If I Fits, I Sits - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Vals Stuff featuring a large cat determined to sit in a small box because "If I fits, I sits"!

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct Demoiselle Lugana using Weeks Dye Works threads. Heart button included. Stitch count is 66h x 57w.

Note: There is no DMC conversion listed for Weeks Dye Works Islamorada.
5 stars out of 5
Busy Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Les Petites Croix De Lucie
$13.80  $1242
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Cross stitch pattern from Les Petites Croix De Lucie featuring a gnome who is very busy in the bathroom!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 81.
Ho Ho No - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.
Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  Sale $719
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For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more
Santa's Helpers - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$8.00  $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".

Contents: chart only. Please note: no fabric, threads, or hoop included.
Eyeroll - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
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We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this pattern is full of relatable charm. With the hilarious phrase, "One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself into another dimension," it's the... Read more
5 stars out of 5
Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00  $809
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!"

Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70 x 121.

Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana... Read more
Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00  $1079
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"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"
Good Morning - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.
I Have Wi-Fi - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$6.94  Sale $590
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.
You're The Butter To My Bread - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$8.49  Sale $679
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)
Resting Froggo Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$6.00  $569
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Resting Froggo Face. This design is beginner friendly, using standard DMC colors. Consider swapping out the celestial elements in the witch hat to DMC etoile or your favorite shiny floss. Finished projects from this design are easily finished in standard embroidery hoops or picture frames. Pattern is printed on one sheet, in full color, front & back.

Stitch count is 50w x 61h.
CawCawPhony - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$10.00  Sale $849
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Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.
Envious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 95 x 92.
Bitter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea; we do not carry, using Gentle Art threads listed. Stitch count is 88 x 96.
In Case of Cross Stitch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Lucy Beam featuring a funny "In Case of Cross Stitch Break Glass" sign.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Woodstove from Lapin Loops with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. The stitch count is 67 x 51 and the finished size is 4.19" x 3.19".
5 stars out of 5
All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  Sale $799
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"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC. Stitch count: 45 x 101H.
We're Not Gossiping - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  $899
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Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
5 stars out of 5
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
4.5 stars out of 5
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack."

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Finished size is 4.93 in wide X 4.79 in high.
5 stars out of 5
Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
5 stars out of 5
All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $639
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"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.
Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.
4.5 stars out of 5
Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.
5 stars out of 5
Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
5 stars out of 5
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
5 stars out of 5
Very Faint Line, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.
Dirty Dishes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"
5 stars out of 5
Cross Stitching Forever - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  $1259
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"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
Thrills & Spills - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  Clearance $838
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Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high
Love You Warts'n All - Valentines Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.
Catfeinated - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog, cup of coffee, and the pun "catfeinated".

Stitched on 27 Count Vintage Country Mocha Linda. Stitch Count: 53w x 80h Finished size is 3.93 in wide X 5.93 in high
Seas and Greetings - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Frony Ritter Designs
$7.50  $675
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Cross stitch pattern from Frony Ritter Designs featuring a mermaid holding a garland with the words "Seas and Greetings".

Pattern is stitched on 16 ct. Pistachio aida using DMC, Weeks Dye Works, and Rainbow Gallery threads. The stitch count is 97 x 97 and the finished size is 6.06" x 6.06". Also recommended is the Mill Hill charm 12172.
I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Crochet, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Crotchet and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
What The Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  $427
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 114w x 120h.
5 stars out of 5
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue...Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$6.00  $569
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring an absolutely great DOG Saying / Phrase! Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Thank You For Feeding Me And Picking Up My Poo. Perfect for any home with dogs!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 117w x 139h.


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