Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 3

ROMY-026
Sharkshund - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Pattern is stitched on 32 count linen with DMC. Stitch count: 96 x 75.
ROMY-037
Stabby Squirrel - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a spicy squirrel stabbing fabric with a needle!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count hand dyed linen with DMC and Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 67 x 69.

In addition to DMC and threads listed, Romy's Threads are also required: Barbara's Pumpkin, Tuscan Experience, Scarlet, Brown Sugar and Charcoal.
ROMY-038
Nurse Ratched - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a nurse who is also a rat!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count Belfast linen vintage country mocha by Zweigart with Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 40 x 73.
SCS-036
Cross Stitch Cardio - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  $1169
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Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the phrase "Cross stitch is my cardio. My backsides have never looked better"!

Stitched on 18 ct fabric using DMC floss. Stitch count is 178 x 63. Finished Size: 10" x 3 1/2".
SHOOD-275
Stabby - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Stitcherhood
$4.00  $379
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Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and stitched in DMC floss: dark gray (#3799) and red (#321). Feel free to substitute colors and fabrics to your taste. Stitch Count is 120 Wide by 110 High. Will measure... Read more
25-1690
Dsyfunctional - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
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Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 81w x 114h. Finished size is 5.79" x 8.14".
25-2133
Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
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For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more
HD-237
Turnip the Beet - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$10.00  Sale $799
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"Lettuce turnip the beet peas" Model stitched on either 32 Ct. White Belfast or 32 Ct. Chalkboard Black (DMC 08 not used on Chalkboard Black) using DMC floss. Stitch Count 80x80. Design Size: 5" x 5".
HD-256
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61x65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
IO-126
Old People - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off! And yes, I can say this because I am old!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 70w x 87h.
IO-165
Act My Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for yourself or a friend.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 81h.
IO-169
Retired - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.
IO-174
Crazy Cat Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 74h.
IO-187
Growing Old - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 84w x 90h.
IO-191
Some Days - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  Sale $595
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I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 103w x 130h.
IO-193
I Will Follow You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to go with me no matter what room I'm going in. "I will follow you wherever you go, bathroom included"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 64.
IO-196
Cleaning Fairy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Yup, happened at my house. And there was apparently a whole army of dust bunnies.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 96w x 91h.
IO-197
Tools - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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"You only need 2 tools in life...WD-40 and duct tape!! If it doesn't move and it should...use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't...use duct tape!" Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 128 x 90.
IO-217
When I Was a Kid - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 91h.
IO-221
Sit on the Floor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.
IO-224
Good Grief - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.
IO-237
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! "Getting old ain't for sissies. It takes strength, courage and tenacity...and that's just to get dressed in the morning"!

Pattern is stitched on White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 143 x 133
IO-302
This Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. VERY annoying. "I have reached an age where my mind says I can do that! But my body says try it and you'll be sorry"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 89.
IO-307
Lots of Stuff - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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"I had a lot of stuff to do today...now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow"! Well yeah - that's my usual day.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92 x 96.
IO-309
Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.
IO-312
A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
IO-313
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  $807
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And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
IO-314
Patience Tested - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 107w x 92h.
IO-320
So Much to Do - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Pretty much says it all -

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 93w x 94h.
CSW-039
I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more
CSW-040
I Just Want To Drink, Crochet, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Crotchet and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
CSW-042
I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
CSW-043
I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
CSW-044
What The Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  Sale $382
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 114w x 120h.
CSW-045
Dear Santa I Want It All! - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  $427
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 138w x 100h.
CSW-054
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue...Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$6.00  Sale $509
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring an absolutely great DOG Saying / Phrase! Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Thank You For Feeding Me And Picking Up My Poo. Perfect for any home with dogs!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 117w x 139h.
CSW-055
Coffeeology - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$10.00  $949
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.
CSW-128
Happy Funny Frogs Rounded Squared - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  Sale $679
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring five happy funny frog designs. Each design is 35 stitches wide by 35 stitches high. Great as magnets or ornaments. These are a fun stitch whether stitched on fabric, plastic canvas, perforated paper or on their matching wood blanks!

... Read more
DAS-003
Deja Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style says "Deja Poo - a feeling that one has see or heard this crap before."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Shadow linen from Picture This Plus with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 70x70. Finished size: 4.37" x 4.37".
DAS-005
Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  Sale $934
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"
DAS-041
Fat Pants - Thanksgiving Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring the phrase "Happy Thanksgiving, Get your fat pants ready"!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Winter Moon" linen from Zweigart and trimmed with "Chickie" poms from Lady Dot. Stitch count is 104 x 145.
DAS-058
Trophy Husband - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: My husband was pleased as punch when I designed this chart in his honor and mark my words, Your cowboy will be just as tickled when you stitch this up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct linen. Stitch count is 63 x 63.
DAS-060
Real Men - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.
DAS-109
Hot Showers - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works
DAS-115
Size Matters - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.
DAS-119
Good Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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I've got a Good Heart.....but this Mouth!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Oatmeal" linen from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 75 x 112.
DAS-143
Big Dill - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$15.00  $1424
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This little dill is actually ya really big dill! The chart was conceived of during the wee hours of a cross stitch retreat when my tablemates and I were a bit punch drunk from Stitching for 2 days!

The little beads are included with the chart! (50 of each color plus a few extra)

... Read more
DEC-002
Meowerlyn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by December Stitches
$12.00  Sale $1029
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Cross stitch pattern from December Stitches featuring a cat dressed as Merlin doing magic!

Pattern is stitched on 25 ct White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 78 x 170.

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