Funny Cross Stitch Page 3

CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.



Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide... Read more about Sassy Threads - Caution - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Be Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern

ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Zero Meows - Cross Stitch Pattern

SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Sarcasm Level - Cross Stitch Pattern

LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II-Looks Aren't Everything - Cross Stitch

KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Kiss My Sass - Cross Stitch Pattern

I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I'm Just A Person - Cross Stitch

I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Eat Cake - Cross Stitch Pattern

I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Don't Like - Cross Stitch Pattern

BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Butt First Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Be A Stiletto - Cross Stitch Pattern

This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"

Note from designer: My husband was pleased as punch when I designed this chart in his honor and mark my words, Your cowboy will be just as tickled when you stitch this up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct linen. Stitch count is 63 x 63.

Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.

I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works

Don't drop your nuts!

Stitched on 32ct "Medusa's Gaze" by Lapin Loops using threads from Classic Colorworks, DMC, Gentle Art, Threadworx, and Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 139 x 99.

Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.

Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.

This little dill is actually ya really big dill! The chart was conceived of during the wee hours of a cross stitch retreat when my tablemates and I were a bit punch drunk from Stitching for 2 days!

The little beads are included with the chart! (50 of each color plus a few extra)

... Read more about Big Dill - Cross Stitch Pattern

The Higher the Hair the closer to Jesus!

Model was stitched on 32 ct linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks, Colour and Cotton, The Gentle Arts, Weeks and Wisper from Rainbow Gallery. Stitch count is 83 x 54. Finished Size: 4.6 x 3.0.

Cross stitch pattern from December Stitches featuring a cat dressed as Merlin doing magic!

Pattern is stitched on 25 ct White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 78 x 170.

Kit comes complete with: #14 Count Plastic Canvas, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Fully Illustrated Instructions.

Features the humorous sentiment "We can't all be the Queen... someone has to sit on the curb and clap as I go by". This cross stitch kit comes complete with 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

Kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Fully Illustrated Instructions. "Stay calm and pretend it's Friday"!

This cross stitch pattern from Forbidden Fiber Co features the phrase "If you're going to be an open book, be a mystery"!

The model is stitched on 32 count Belfast Linen. Stitch count is 150 x 95. Finished size is 9.4" x 5.9".

His feathers are windswept, but his little hat is still professionally straight. The pigeon lands and hops along your windowsill. He's carrying a bright envelope in his beak- And it's addressed to you! You've got mail!

Model stitched on 16 count Sea Spray by Wichelt with DMC floss. The stitch count is 86 x 107 and the finished size is 5.4" x 6.7".

"My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine, you make me smile with my heart. Stay little Valentine stay."

Model stitched on 36 Ct. Sand Linen by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 125x333. Finished Size: 7" x 19"

"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear."

Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"

Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.

Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)

Fall means Halloween and Halloween is a must! This playful sampler blends classic styling with clever, humorous verses, giving traditional Halloween a fresh and fun twist.

The pattern stitched on 32 ct. Lugana with DMC and Gentle Arts floss. The stitch count is 140 x 138 with a finished size of 8.75" x 8.63".

Resting Froggo Face. This design is beginner friendly, using standard DMC colors. Consider swapping out the celestial elements in the witch hat to DMC etoile or your favorite shiny floss. Finished projects from this design are easily finished in standard embroidery hoops or picture frames. Pattern is printed on one sheet, in full color, front & back.

Stitch count is 50w x 61h.

Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.

"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Macchiato Linen using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 51W x 63H and the finished size is 3.19" x 3.94".

"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"

Cross stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the sentiment "Follow your heart but take your stitching with you"!

Model stitched on 18ct Aida using a mixture of DMC and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80w x 80h and the finished size is 4.44" x 4.44".

This design by Imaginating features a woman with a smirk and the text "Go ahead. Underestimate me. This will be fun."

Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC thread. Stitch count: 118w x 95h.

Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more about Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring the silly phrases "You grow girl", "Gardening is dirt cheap", "Crazy plant lady" and "Sometimes I wet my plants"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Lemon Chiffon Aida using DMC floss. Stitch counts are 53... Read more about Green Thumb 4-Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.

Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.

Cross stitch pattern from Vals Stuff featuring a large cat determined to sit in a small box because "If I fits, I sits"!

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct Demoiselle Lugana using Weeks Dye Works threads. Heart button included. Stitch count is 66h x 57w.

Note: There is no DMC conversion listed for Weeks Dye Works Islamorada.

Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.

Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 81w x 114h. Finished size is 5.79" x 8.14".

For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more about Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern

We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this pattern is full of relatable charm. With the hilarious phrase, "One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself into another dimension," it's the... Read more about Eyeroll - Cross Stitch Pattern