Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 3

Retired - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
Add to Wishlist
What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.
Crazy Cat Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 74h.
Crazy Dog Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  Sale $595
Add to Wishlist
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 71h.
I Will Follow You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to go with me no matter what room I'm going in. "I will follow you wherever you go, bathroom included"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 64.
Cleaning Fairy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
Yup, happened at my house. And there was apparently a whole army of dust bunnies.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 96w x 91h.
Tools - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
"You only need 2 tools in life...WD-40 and duct tape!! If it doesn't move and it should...use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't...use duct tape!" Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 128 x 90.
Old and Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm wise! "The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 89 x 89.
When I Was a Kid - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
Add to Wishlist
This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 91h.
Sit on the Floor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.
Good Grief - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
Add to Wishlist
Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! "Getting old ain't for sissies. It takes strength, courage and tenacity...and that's just to get dressed in the morning"!

Pattern is stitched on White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 143 x 133
Talk to Myself - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.50  Sale $638
Add to Wishlist
"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.
This Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
Add to Wishlist
Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. VERY annoying. "I have reached an age where my mind says I can do that! But my body says try it and you'll be sorry"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 89.
Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.
A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  Sale $722
Add to Wishlist
And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
Patience Tested - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 107w x 92h.
So Much to Do - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
Add to Wishlist
Pretty much says it all -

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 93w x 94h.
Green Thumb 4-Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring the silly phrases "You grow girl", "Gardening is dirt cheap", "Crazy plant lady" and "Sometimes I wet my plants"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Lemon Chiffon Aida using DMC floss. Stitch counts are 53... Read more
Shuts A Door - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
Add to Wishlist
Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.
Bad Snow Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sister Lou Stitches
$14.50  Sale $1159
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.
Busy Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Les Petites Croix De Lucie
$13.80  $1242
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Les Petites Croix De Lucie featuring a gnome who is very busy in the bathroom!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 81.
Ho Ho No - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.
Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  Sale $719
Add to Wishlist
For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more
Santa's Helpers - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$8.00  $719
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".

Contents: chart only. Please note: no fabric, threads, or hoop included.
Eyeroll - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
Add to Wishlist
We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this pattern is full of relatable charm. With the hilarious phrase, "One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself into another dimension," it's the... Read more
It Takes A Village - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
Add to Wishlist
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered by a toddler!

Stitched on 14ct. White Aida using DMC Floss. Stitch count: 110w x 130h. Finished size is 7.9" x 9.3".
Cross Stitching Forever - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
Add to Wishlist
This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  $1259
Add to Wishlist
"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
Thrills & Spills - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  Clearance $838
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high
I Have Wi-Fi - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$6.94  Sale $590
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.
You're The Butter To My Bread - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$849
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)
CawCawPhony - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$10.00  Sale $849
Add to Wishlist
Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.
I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Crochet, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Crotchet and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
What The Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  $427
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 114w x 120h.
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue...Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$6.00  $569
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring an absolutely great DOG Saying / Phrase! Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Thank You For Feeding Me And Picking Up My Poo. Perfect for any home with dogs!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 117w x 139h.
Coffeeology - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$10.00  $949
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.
Mr. Beer Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  $759
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring MR. BEER GNOME that is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 128w x 115h.
Happy Funny Frogs Rounded Squared - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  Sale $679
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring five happy funny frog designs. Each design is 35 stitches wide by 35 stitches high. Great as magnets or ornaments. These are a fun stitch whether stitched on fabric, plastic canvas, perforated paper or on their matching wood blanks!

... Read more
Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  Sale $934
Add to Wishlist
This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1044
Add to Wishlist
Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring a married couple with the phrase "Marriage, when dating goes to far"!

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct Caramel Macchiato from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 87 x 110.
Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
Add to Wishlist
Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more
Real Men - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
Add to Wishlist
Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.
Sentence Enhancing - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
Add to Wishlist
Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.
Good Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
Add to Wishlist
I've got a Good Heart.....but this Mouth!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Oatmeal" linen from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 75 x 112.


1  2  3  4  5