Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns

Cross stitch pattern from Twin Peak Primitives featuring Noah's Ark...but with cats? Sounds purr-fect to me!

Pattern is stitched on 16 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 89 x 82. Finished size on 16/32 ct is 5.57w" X 5.13h". Finished size on 14/28 Ct(listed) is 6.36" x 5.86".

This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.

Cross stitch pattern from Glendon Place featuring the phrase "I cross stitch so I don't stab people".

Model stitched on 28 ct Sand Cashel using DMC, Sullivan's or Anchor floss. Stitch count is 147 x 195. Finished size is 10.5" x 13.9".

"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread and DMC floss. Stitch count is 221W x 72H.

Cross-stitch pattern by Lucy Beam featuring the words "Due to personal reasons, I'm going to cross stitch past my bedtime".

Pattern is stitched on 40 ct. Crypt Cloth from Lapin Loops with Gentle Arts floss. The stitch count is 81 x 81 and the finished size is 4.05" x 4.05".

I have been wanting to do this pattern for years, I finally made it! I haven't been this proud of a pattern in a long time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 171 x 171. Finished size is 12.21" x 12.21".

Truer works were never spoken, am I right!? I thought this sentiment was perfect for the fall themed collection! You could easily omit the ghosts for a more year round finished piece if you prefer.

Stitched on 36 ct. linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 205 x 132 and the finished size is 11.39" x 7.33".

A playful welcome from the household's most dedicated attendant. This design captures that familiar moment when a curious cat insists on supervising every bathroom visit, peeking around the door with wide?eyed commitment. Stitched in warm, cozy tones with a touch of humor, it's perfect for... Read more about Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat - Cross Stitch Pattern

This pattern from Little Robin Designs says "Keep your head high and your crown straight!"

Pattern is stitched on 40 count linen, using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 144 x 65.

Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61 x 65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".

"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee."

Model stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Finished Size: 8" x 4"

Hen Party by Little House Needleworks features a cute farm scene with chickens roaming around in front of a house and red barn.

Model stitched on 28 ct. linen using DMC & Crescent Colours floss. The stitch count is 82 x 54 and the finished size is 5.86" x 3.86".

Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company.

"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.

Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring a punny Halloween-themed design with a witch-owned beauty parlor.

Stitched on 18-count Aida with Valdani Cotton floss with full DMC conversion. Stitch count is 69 x 66. Finished size is 3 7/8" x 3 3/4".

Cross stitch pattern from Crafty Bluebonnet Designs featuring a funny Halloween themed pattern that reads "Just here for the candy".

Pattern stitched on 28 count Pearl Grey Cashel linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 47 x 46 and the finished size is 3.36" x 3.29".

What SamBrie Stitches release would be complete without a Bigfoot chart Bigfoot has become such a fun part of my designing journey!

Model is stitched on 18 ct. Under The Sea by Grace Notes Fabrics with DMC and BeStitchMe floss. The stitch count is 131 x 70 and the finished size is 7.28" x 3.89".

Also requires Black Walnut by BeStitchMe.

Feeeeed me Seymour!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 86w by 128h. Finished size is 6.14" x 9.14".

This fun cross stitch pattern from My Big Toe Designs features the saying, "We all cross our X's one leg at a time" with cute cross stitch motifs.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Ivory Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 95w x 63. Finished size is 5.94" x 3.94".

HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Hold On - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Be Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern

"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.

Cross stitch pattern from Little Stitch Girl featuring a spooky Halloween scene with haunted houses, witch, skeleton, ghost, bats, and "Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet"!

Model stitched on 32 Count Linen "Colonial Parchment" with DMC, The Gentle Art, Classic Colorworks, and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch Count: 174W x 97H. Finished size 10.9" x 5.9"

"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.

A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H.

Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h.

Model stitched over two threads on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Comes with 3 small red buttons. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.

"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog, cup of coffee, and the pun "catfeinated".

Stitched on 27 Count Vintage Country Mocha Linda. Stitch Count: 53w x 80h Finished size is 3.93 in wide X 5.93 in high

A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch to your seasonal stitching collection or gifting to someone who dreams of warmer weather.

Pattern is stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 98w x 138h. Finished size is 7" x 9.9".

Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a crab at the beach with the phrase "Beach please"!

Model is stitched on linen of your choice using Romy's Creations with DMC conversion. Stitch count is 60 X 59. Finished size 3.75 in wide X 3.69 in high.

Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring the phrase "Life Is Better At The Beach"!

Model is stitched on linen of your choice using Romy's Creation floss with DMC conversion. Stitch count is 60 X 57. Finished size is 3.75 in wide X 3.56 in high.

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Blue Flower Button sold separately.

Pattern by Bobbie G Designs featuring some wine bottles with the phrase, "Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."

Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC. Stitch count: 44W x 140H and the finished size is 3.14" x 10".

His feathers are windswept, but his little hat is still professionally straight. The pigeon lands and hops along your windowsill. He's carrying a bright envelope in his beak- And it's addressed to you! You've got mail!

Model stitched on 16 count Sea Spray by Wichelt with DMC floss. The stitch count is 86 x 107 and the finished size is 5.4" x 6.7".

UGLINESS CAN BE FIXED. STUPIDITY IS FOREVER. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109... Read more about Sassy Threads - Ugliness - Cross Stitch Pattern

SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads - Sorry - Cross Stitch Pattern

IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME. NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads.... Read more about Sassy Threads - It's Okay - Cross Stitch Pattern

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads - It's A Beautiful Day - Cross Stitch

I'M NOT WEIRD I'M LIMITED EDITION guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads - I'm Not Weird - Cross Stitch Pattern

I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - I Run - Cross Stitch Pattern

EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Eye Rolling - Cross Stitch Pattern

CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.



Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide... Read more about Sassy Threads - Caution - Cross Stitch Pattern

BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads Born To Argue - Cross Stitch Pattern

ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Zero Meows - Cross Stitch Pattern

SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Sarcasm Level - Cross Stitch Pattern

LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II-Looks Aren't Everything - Cross Stitch

KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Kiss My Sass - Cross Stitch Pattern