Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I'm Just A Person - Cross Stitch

I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Eat Cake - Cross Stitch Pattern

I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Don't Like - Cross Stitch Pattern

COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE COOKIES guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Come To The Dark Side - Cross Stitch

BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Butt First Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Be A Stiletto - Cross Stitch Pattern

This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"

Note from designer: My husband was pleased as punch when I designed this chart in his honor and mark my words, Your cowboy will be just as tickled when you stitch this up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct linen. Stitch count is 63 x 63.

Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more about Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern

Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.

Fall means Halloween and Halloween is a must! This playful sampler blends classic styling with clever, humorous verses, giving traditional Halloween a fresh and fun twist.

The pattern stitched on 32 ct. Lugana with DMC and Gentle Arts floss. The stitch count is 140 x 138 with a finished size of 8.75" x 8.63".

Pattern by Prairie Schooler featuring four fun decisions with cute sayings including, "Keep it Simple,", "Measure Twice, Cut Once", "Plan Ahead" and "The Witch is In".

Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch counts and... Read more about Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern

"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear."

Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"

"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"

"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"

"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that."

Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"

Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.

"Lettuce turnip the beet peas" Model stitched on either 32 Ct. White Belfast or 32 Ct. Chalkboard Black (DMC 08 not used on Chalkboard Black) using DMC floss. Stitch Count 80x80. Design Size: 5" x 5".

This piece is for all of my fellow knitters out there! Again, truer words were never spoken and I've been known to be haunted by a few skeins of yarn that got away! You can omit the ghosts if you'd prefer to have a finished piece that is less seasonal.

Stitched on 38 count Druid... Read more about Yarn You Didn't Buy - Cross Stitch Pattern

Pattern by Joan Elliot featuring the prayer "God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to know the difference".

Stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 101W x 129H and the finished size is 7" x 9".

Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.

Cross stitch pattern from Lucy Beam featuring a funny "In Case of Cross Stitch Break Glass" sign.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Woodstove from Lapin Loops with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. The stitch count is 67 x 51 and the finished size is 4.19" x 3.19".

"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC. Stitch count: 45 x 101H.

Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.

"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack."

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Finished size is 4.93 in wide X 4.79 in high.

"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.

"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.

"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company

"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"

Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".

"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.

In the battle of Floss Chicken, sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. An obvious loss on the final letter.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. raw linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 98 x 66 and the finished size is 6.13" x 4.13".

This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"

"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.

Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring a purr-fect design for a cat lover, the words "It's not cat hair, it's kitty glitter".

Stitched on 14 ct. Lavender Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 85 x 99 and the finished size is 6.07" x 7.07".

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. DMC 3890 and 3891 not listed. Stitch count is 225 x 99. Finished size is 16.07" x 6.86".

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 225 x 51. Finished size is 16.07" x 3.64".

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. DMC 3890 and 3891 not listed. Stitch count is 225 x 51. Finished size is 16.07" x 3.64".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the words "Beach Please" on a background of ocean waves with a palm tree and rising sun.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 181 and the finished size is 7.9" x 12.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring two bumblebees dressed up like ghosts with the words "Boo Bees".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 148 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.6".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring books on a shelf and the saying "The Book is Always Better".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 97 and the finished size is 7.9" x 6.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a yellow flower border with the words "Suck It Up Buttercup" in script in the center.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 209 x 153 and the finished size is 14.9" x 10.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the funny phrase "As I get Older, I'm finding out that buying supplies and using them are two seperate hobbies" with sewing notions.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 160 x 150 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.7".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring an angry looking candy corn with the words "Yeah, well I don't like you either".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 89 x 125 and the finished size is 6.4" x 8.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with a ball mason jar and the words "Grab your balls, it's canning season".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 182 and the finished size is 10" x 13".