Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

22-1512
Flying Lesson - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  $1169
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Model stitched on 18 ct. Aida "Hazelwood" by Fiber on a WHim using DMC thread. Stitch count is 78 x 125.
19-1340
Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00  $899
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"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
PS164
Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00  $539
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"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.
25-2137
Santa's Helpers - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$8.00  $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".
DAS-118
Sentence Enhancing - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.
24-2376
Ho Ho No - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.
LRD-017
Straighten Your Crown - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little Robin Designs
$8.00  $719
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This pattern from Little Robin Designs says "Keep your head high and your crown straight!"

Pattern is stitched on 40 count linen, using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 144 x 65.
CSW-148
I Just Want To Drink, Cross Stitch, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Cross Stitch and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
MBT-236
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
18-1937
Loads Of Fun (Laundry Company 2) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$9.00  $809
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(2nd in the series) Model stitched over two threads on 32 Ct. White Belfast linen using DMC floss. (includes bonus pattern) Stitch count for Loads of fun: 63x91. Design Size: 4" x 6" Stitch count for Bonus Chart: 200x22. Design Size: 13" x 2" Collect all 3 charts in The Laundry... Read more
MBT-198
More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$999
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"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.
25-2370
Eyeroll - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
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We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this pattern is full of relatable charm. With the hilarious phrase, "One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself into another dimension," it's the perfect... Read more
FFC-001
Be a Mystery - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Forbidden Fiber Co
$10.00  $899
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This cross stitch pattern from Forbidden Fiber Co features the phrase "If you're going to be an open book, be a mystery"!

The model is stitched on 32 count Belfast Linen. Stitch count is 150 x 95. Finished size is 9.4" x 5.9".
DAS-152
The Higher the Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1049
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The Higher the Hair the closer to Jesus!

Model was stitched on 32 ct linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks, Colour and Cotton, The Gentle Arts, Weeks and Wisper from Rainbow Gallery. Stitch count is 83 x 54. Finished Size: 4.6 x 3.0.
DAS-143
Big Dill - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$15.00  $1424
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This little dill is actually ya really big dill! The chart was conceived of during the wee hours of a cross stitch retreat when my tablemates and I were a bit punch drunk from Stitching for 2 days!

The little beads are included with the chart! (50 of each color plus a few extra)

... Read more
PUT-038
Just One More Episode - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Puntini Puntini
$12.00  $1079
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"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself"

Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch Count: 103 x 63.
SCS-031
Scissor Sleuth - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  $1169
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Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the phrase "My heart doth brim with discontent. I know not where my scissors went"!

Stitched on 18ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 133 x 54.
STP-019
Winter Puns - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitchy Prose
$10.00  $899
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Meet the final installment of my seasonal pillow puns, Winter Puns! Embrace the magic of winter (or daydreaming for tropical weather) by stitching these adorable snowmen. "Go with the snow" "License to chill"

Stitched on 32ct Raw Natural Linen by Zweigart using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 60W x 60H each.
IO-118
Protecting Mama - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92w x 107h.
IO-145R
Getting Older - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 83 x 93.
IO-175
Crazy Dog Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 71h.
IO-293
Talk to Myself - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.50  $712
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"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.
24-2254
Busy Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Les Petites Croix De Lucie
$13.80  $1242
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Cross stitch pattern from Les Petites Croix De Lucie featuring a gnome who is very busy in the bathroom!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 81.
IO-197
Tools - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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"You only need 2 tools in life...WD-40 and duct tape!! If it doesn't move and it should...use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't...use duct tape!" Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 128 x 90.
IO-313
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  $807
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And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
LBL-024
Stubborn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea, don't carry, using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 84 x 78.
NYD-005
Cross Stitching Forever - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.
22-2989
Keep Looking Up - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$11.00  $989
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.
NYD-004
Dirty Dishes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"
CSW-055
Coffeeology - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$10.00  $949
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.
CSW-057
Mr. Beer Gnome - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  $759
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring MR. BEER GNOME that is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 128w x 115h.
DAS-050
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1044
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Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring a married couple with the phrase "Marriage, when dating goes to far"!

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct Caramel Macchiato from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 87 x 110.
DAS-059
Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more
22-1061
Your Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$10.00  $899
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Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.
HD-256
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61x65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
MBT-265
Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
19-1235
Yellow Polka Dot Bikweenie - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Plum Street Samplers
$10.00  $899
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Model stitched on 36 Ct. Vintage Homespun using Weeks Dye Works, DMC floss, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch count is 239W x 62H. Finished size is 13.28 in wide X 3.44 in high.
19-2036
Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00  $1079
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"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Design Size: 11" x 9"
LK-S103
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $404 to $449
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
MBT-018
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.
MBT-224
Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
01-2714
Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$10.00  $899
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A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Model was stitched on 28 Ct. Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using DMC and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Design Size: 6" x 7".

Also needed but not listed is a Mill Hill Acorn button #86166.
06-1533
Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Prairie Schooler
$8.00  $719
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Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130
DAS-041
Fat Pants - Thanksgiving Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring the phrase "Happy Thanksgiving, Get your fat pants ready"!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Winter Moon" linen from Zweigart and trimmed with "Chickie" poms from Lady Dot. Stitch count is 104 x 145.
17-2168
Christmas Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$9.00  $809
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"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear."

Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"
17-2219
Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00  $809
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!"

Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70 x 121.

Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana... Read more
18-2789
Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"
20-1282
Messy Bun Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$5.00  Clearance $299
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"It's a messy bun day!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana wit DMC floss. Stitch count: 45 x 44.


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