Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 3

BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Butt First Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Be A Stiletto - Cross Stitch Pattern

This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"

Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more about Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern

Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.

I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works

Don't drop your nuts!

Stitched on 32ct "Medusa's Gaze" by Lapin Loops using threads from Classic Colorworks, DMC, Gentle Art, Threadworx, and Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 139 x 99.

Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.

Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.

I've got a Good Heart.....but this Mouth!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Oatmeal" linen from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 75 x 112.

The Higher the Hair the closer to Jesus!

Model was stitched on 32 ct linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks, Colour and Cotton, The Gentle Arts, Weeks and Wisper from Rainbow Gallery. Stitch count is 83 x 54. Finished Size: 4.6 x 3.0.

Cross stitch pattern from December Stitches featuring a cat dressed as Merlin doing magic!

Pattern is stitched on 25 ct White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 78 x 170.

This cross stitch pattern from Forbidden Fiber Co features the phrase "If you're going to be an open book, be a mystery"!

The model is stitched on 32 count Belfast Linen. Stitch count is 150 x 95. Finished size is 9.4" x 5.9".

Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting "send." With hand-drawn style lettering and expressive details, it blends humor and honesty into a piece that's guaranteed to get laughs and knowing nods. A fun... Read more about Friendly Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.

A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch to your seasonal stitching collection or gifting to someone who dreams of warmer weather.

Pattern is stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 98w x 138h. Finished size is 7" x 9.9".

Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a crab at the beach with the phrase "Beach please"!

Model is stitched on linen of your choice using Romy's Creations with DMC conversion. Stitch count is 60 X 59. Finished size 3.75 in wide X 3.69 in high.

Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.

Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.

Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)

Fall means Halloween and Halloween is a must! This playful sampler blends classic styling with clever, humorous verses, giving traditional Halloween a fresh and fun twist.

The pattern stitched on 32 ct. Lugana with DMC and Gentle Arts floss. The stitch count is 140 x 138 with a finished size of 8.75" x 8.63".

Resting Froggo Face. This design is beginner friendly, using standard DMC colors. Consider swapping out the celestial elements in the witch hat to DMC etoile or your favorite shiny floss. Finished projects from this design are easily finished in standard embroidery hoops or picture frames. Pattern is printed on one sheet, in full color, front & back.

Stitch count is 50w x 61h.

Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.

Pattern by Prairie Schooler featuring four fun decisions with cute sayings including, "Keep it Simple,", "Measure Twice, Cut Once", "Plan Ahead" and "The Witch is In".

Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch counts and... Read more about Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Blue Flower Button sold separately.

Pattern by Bobbie G Designs featuring some wine bottles with the phrase, "Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."

Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC. Stitch count: 44W x 140H and the finished size is 3.14" x 10".

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Macchiato Linen using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 51W x 63H and the finished size is 3.19" x 3.94".

"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"

Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.

Cross stitch pattern from Heartstring Samplery featuring a stitch mat and a needle book with the theme "Bee still my heart"!

Stitch counts:
- Stitch mat: 143w x 88h
- Needle book: 123w x 68h

This design by Imaginating features a woman with a smirk and the text "Go ahead. Underestimate me. This will be fun."

Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC thread. Stitch count: 118w x 95h.

Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more about Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.

Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.

Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring a cat regretfully hanging onto a Christmas stocking!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 122w x 76h.

Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 81w x 114h. Finished size is 5.79" x 8.14".

For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more about Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".

Contents: chart only. Please note: no fabric, threads, or hoop included.

We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this pattern is full of relatable charm. With the hilarious phrase, "One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself into another dimension," it's the... Read more about Eyeroll - Cross Stitch Pattern

Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered by a toddler!

Stitched on 14ct. White Aida using DMC Floss. Stitch count: 110w x 130h. Finished size is 7.9" x 9.3".

Cross stitch pattern from Frony Ritter Designs featuring a mermaid holding a garland with the words "Seas and Greetings".

Pattern is stitched on 16 ct. Pistachio aida using DMC, Weeks Dye Works, and Rainbow Gallery threads. The stitch count is 97 x 97 and the finished size is 6.06" x 6.06". Also recommended is the Mill Hill charm 12172.

Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 60w x 62h.

My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92w x 107h.

Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off! And yes, I can say this because I am old!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 70w x 87h.

Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for yourself or a friend.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 81h.

What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.

Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 84w x 90h.

If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to go with me no matter what room I'm going in. "I will follow you wherever you go, bathroom included"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 64.