Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

Sit on the Floor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.
Good Grief - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! "Getting old ain't for sissies. It takes strength, courage and tenacity...and that's just to get dressed in the morning"!

Pattern is stitched on White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 143 x 133
Talk to Myself - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.50  Sale $638
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"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.
Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.
A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  Sale $722
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And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
Patience Tested - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 107w x 92h.
So Much to Do - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Pretty much says it all -

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 93w x 94h.
Patch Patch Patch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Kooler Design Studio
$9.95  Sale $895
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Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.
Christmas Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$9.00  $809
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"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear."

Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"
Loads Of Fun (Laundry Company 2) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$9.00  $809
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(2nd in the series) Model stitched over two threads on 32 Ct. White Belfast linen using DMC floss. (includes bonus pattern) Stitch count for Loads of fun: 63x91. Design Size: 4" x 6" Stitch count for Bonus Chart: 200x22. Design Size: 13" x 2" Collect all 3 charts in The Laundry... Read more
Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"
My Stitching Time - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that."

Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"
Humorous Halloween 4 Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Model stitched on 14 ct. Aida in Natural Brown using DMC threads. Stitch count for Dead & Breakfast Inn is 45 x 61, Stay for a Bite 43 x 62, Get Sheet Faced 45 x 62, Boo Ya 42 x 58.
Follow Your Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the sentiment "Follow your heart but take your stitching with you"!

Model stitched on 18ct Aida using a mixture of DMC and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80w x 80h and the finished size is 4.44" x 4.44".
Your Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$10.00  $899
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Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.
Underestimate Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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This design by Imaginating features a woman with a smirk and the text "Go ahead. Underestimate me. This will be fun."

Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC thread. Stitch count: 118w x 95h.
Chocolate! - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Xs And Ohs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from X's and Oh's featuring a bunny eating chocolate and the phrase "Chocolate...is God's way of saying he likes us a little chubby".

Model stitched on 14 ct lavender sunset aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 136 x 106.
Fowl Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$9.00  Sale $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a chicken and rooster with the phrase "Fluent in foul language"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. 'Amaryllis' Belfast from Under the Sea fabrics using DMC thread. Stitch count is 63 x 81.
Keep Looking Up - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$11.00  $989
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.
All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  $899
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"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC. Stitch count: 45 x 101H.
We're Not Gossiping - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  $899
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Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  Sale $359 to $449
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $639
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack."

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Finished size is 4.93 in wide X 4.79 in high.
Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.
Dog Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"
Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $719
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
Very Faint Line, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.
Green Thumb 4-Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring the silly phrases "You grow girl", "Gardening is dirt cheap", "Crazy plant lady" and "Sometimes I wet my plants"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Lemon Chiffon Aida using DMC floss. Stitch counts are 53... Read more
Shuts A Door - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.
Bad Snow Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sister Lou Stitches
$14.50  Sale $1159
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Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.
Dsyfunctional - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  Sale $719
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Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 81w x 114h. Finished size is 5.79" x 8.14".
Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$9.00  $809
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For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more
Good Morning - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.
I Have Wi-Fi - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$5.40 to $6.94
Sale $485 to $590
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.
You're The Butter To My Bread - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$605 to $849
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)
Vicious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Artsy Housewife
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from The Artsy Housewife featuring a cheeky cat showing the flower plant who's boss!

Pattern is stitched on 32 Dirty Linen by Zweigart. Stitch count is 129 x 109.
Resting Froggo Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$6.00  $569
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Resting Froggo Face. This design is beginner friendly, using standard DMC colors. Consider swapping out the celestial elements in the witch hat to DMC etoile or your favorite shiny floss. Finished projects from this design are easily finished in standard embroidery hoops or picture frames. Pattern is printed on one sheet, in full color, front & back.

Stitch count is 50w x 61h.
CawCawPhony - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$10.00  Sale $849
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Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.
Just One More Episode - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Puntini Puntini
$12.00  $1079
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"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself"

Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch Count: 103 x 63.
Sharkshund - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Pattern is stitched on 32 count linen with DMC. Stitch count: 96 x 75.
Stabby Squirrel - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a spicy squirrel stabbing fabric with a needle!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count hand dyed linen with DMC and Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 67 x 69.

In addition to DMC and threads listed, Romy's Threads are also required: Barbara's Pumpkin, Tuscan Experience, Scarlet, Brown Sugar and Charcoal.
Nurse Ratched - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a nurse who is also a rat!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count Belfast linen vintage country mocha by Zweigart with Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 40 x 73.
Dirty Dishes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"
Thrills & Spills - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  Clearance $838
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Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high
Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00  $539
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"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.


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