Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

IO-203
Old and Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm wise! "The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 89 x 89.
IO-217
When I Was a Kid - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 91h.
IO-221
Sit on the Floor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.
IO-224
Good Grief - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.
IO-293
Talk to Myself - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.50  $712
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"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.
IO-302
This Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. VERY annoying. "I have reached an age where my mind says I can do that! But my body says try it and you'll be sorry"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 89.
IO-309
Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  Sale $595
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At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.
IO-312
A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
IO-313
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  $807
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And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
IO-314
Patience Tested - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  Sale $595
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Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 107w x 92h.
IO-320
So Much to Do - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Pretty much says it all -

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 93w x 94h.
KDS-1541
Patch Patch Patch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Kooler Design Studio
$995
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Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.
LBL-024
Stubborn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea, don't carry, using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 84 x 78.
LBL-025
Envious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 95 x 92.
LBL-026
Bitter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea; we do not carry, using Gentle Art threads listed. Stitch count is 88 x 96.
18-2789
Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"
19-2036
Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00  $1079
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"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Design Size: 11" x 9"
20-1282
Messy Bun Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$5.00  Clearance $299
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"It's a messy bun day!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana wit DMC floss. Stitch count: 45 x 44.
20-1874
My Stitching Time - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00  $719
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"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that."

Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"
20-3020
If You Fall - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$15.00  Sale $1199
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"You & I are sisters. If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up - after I stop laughing!" Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Stitch Count: 216H x 119W. Design Size: 15.42" x 8.50"
21-2394
Humorous Halloween 4 Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Model stitched on 14 ct. Aida in Natural Brown using DMC threads. Stitch count for Dead & Breakfast Inn is 45 x 61, Stay for a Bite 43 x 62, Get Sheet Faced 45 x 62, Boo Ya 42 x 58.
21-2456
Follow Your Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the sentiment "Follow your heart but take your stitching with you"!

Model stitched on 18ct Thyme Goes By Aida from Seraphim using a mixture of DMC and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80w x 80h.
22-1061
Your Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$10.00  $899
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Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.
22-1669
Bee Still My Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Heartstring Samplery featuring a stitch mat and a needle book with the theme "Bee still my heart"!

Stitch counts:
- Stitch mat: 143w x 88h
- Needle book: 123w x 68h
22-1729
Chocolate! - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Xs And Ohs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from X's and Oh's featuring a bunny eating chocolate and the phrase "Chocolate...is God's way of saying he likes us a little chubby".

Model stitched on 14 ct lavender sunset aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 136 x 106.
22-1783
Dear Santa - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$14.50  Sale $1159
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Cross stitch pattern from Keslyn's featuring a letter to Santa
Model stitched on 28 ct. White Lugana using DMC thread. Stitch count: 120w x 99h
22-1874
Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Ink Circles
$8.00  Sale $639
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Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more
22-2987
Fowl Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$9.00  $809
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a chicken and rooster with the phrase "Fluent in foul language"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. 'Amaryllis' Belfast from Under the Sea fabrics using DMC thread. Stitch count is 63 x 81.
22-2989
Keep Looking Up - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Meridian Designs For Cross Stitch
$11.00  $989
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Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.
24-1595
Green Thumb 4-Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring the silly phrases "You grow girl", "Gardening is dirt cheap", "Crazy plant lady" and "Sometimes I wet my plants"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Lemon Chiffon Aida using DMC floss. Stitch counts are 53... Read more
24-1858
Shuts A Door - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00  $629
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Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.
LK-B30
We're Not Gossiping - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$999 Black Friday Sale Buy One Get One Free
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Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.
LK-S99
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
LK154
Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00  $809
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"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread and DMC floss. Stitch count is 221W x 72H.
MBT-018
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.
MBT-11
Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
MBT-198
More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$999
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"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.
MBT-224
Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
MBT-236
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
MBT-265
Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
MBT111
Very Faint Line, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $639
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"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.
MBT121
Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
MFDC001
All Are Equal in Death - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Modern Folk Embroidery
$10.50  $996
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Cross stitch pattern from Modern Folkart Embroidery featuring a skeleton and the phrase "Are all equal in death".

Stitched over 2 threads on 32 count linen (or over 1 on 16ct Aida) it would measure approximately 8" by 12" (20.5 by 30.5 cm). It has a total of 6368 crosses.... Read more
ABD-002
Good Morning - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.
AMK-173
I Have Wi-Fi - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$5.40 to $6.94
Sale $485 to $590
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "I don't need you, I have WIFI"!

Model stitched on 14 or 16 ct Aida on the color of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 71w x 79h. Designed by Anna Gutova.
AMK-229
You're The Butter To My Bread - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Artmishka
$605 to $849
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Cross stitch pattern from Artmishka featuring the phrase "You're the butter to my bread"!

Model stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 72W x 61H.

Finished Size:
aida 14 - 14 x 12 cm (5 1/4 x 4 1/2 in)
aida 16 - 12 x 10 cm (4 1/2 x 4 in)
ARTSY-013
Vicious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Artsy Housewife
$14.00  $1259
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Cross stitch pattern from The Artsy Housewife featuring a cheeky cat showing the flower plant who's boss!

Pattern is stitched on 32 Dirty Linen by Zweigart. Stitch count is 129 x 109.
BAD-014
CawCawPhony - Cross Stitch Pattern
by BAD Stitch
$10.00  Sale $849
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Relieve your stress by screaming like this bird! The bird is fashioned after a magpie, using standard DMC floss and easy to finish in a 5x7 frame if stitched on 18 count. The printed pattern is in full color, with colored blocks and symbols.

Stitch count is 76w x 116h.


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