Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.

"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear."

Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"

(2nd in the series) Model stitched over two threads on 32 Ct. White Belfast linen using DMC floss. (includes bonus pattern) Stitch count for Loads of fun: 63x91. Design Size: 4" x 6" Stitch count for Bonus Chart: 200x22. Design Size: 13" x 2" Collect all 3 charts in The Laundry... Read more about Loads Of Fun (Laundry Company 2) - Cross Stitch Pattern

"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!"

Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. Stitch Count: 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"

"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that."

Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company

Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".

"Lettuce turnip the beet peas" Model stitched on either 32 Ct. White Belfast or 32 Ct. Chalkboard Black (DMC 08 not used on Chalkboard Black) using DMC floss. Stitch Count 80x80. Design Size: 5" x 5".

"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.

A snowman and his penguin friend warm themselves on a cold Winter night!

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Antique Blue Jobelan with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 86H x 85W. Design Size: 7" x 7"

Hen Party by Little House Needleworks features a cute farm scene with chickens roaming around in front of a house and red barn.

Model stitched on 28 ct. linen using DMC & Crescent Colours floss. The stitch count is 82 x 54 and the finished size is 5.86" x 3.86".

Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company.

Pattern by Bobbie G Designs featuring some wine bottles with the phrase, "Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."

Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC. Stitch count: 44W x 140H and the finished size is 3.14" x 10".

Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring a punny Halloween-themed design with a witch-owned beauty parlor.

Stitched on 18-count Aida with Valdani Cotton floss with full DMC conversion. Stitch count is 69 x 66. Finished size is 3 7/8" x 3 3/4".

Pattern by Prairie Schooler featuring four fun decisions with cute sayings including, "Keep it Simple,", "Measure Twice, Cut Once", "Plan Ahead" and "The Witch is In".

Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch counts and... Read more about Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern

A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H.

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Blue Flower Button sold separately.

Sue Hillis pattern with the saying "Please cancel my subscription to your issues!"

Model stitched on 32ct Toasted Coconut by Colour and Cotton or a warm neutral beige of you choice using DMC or Sullivans thread. Stitch count: 110w x 102h. Stitch on fabric of your choice.

Cross stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring an adorable sheep wearing a hand-stitched red sweater with the text "Wool Ewe Be My Neighbor."

Model stitched on "Cornflower" 18-count Aida from Fiber on a Whim using DMC and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 67 x 113.

Cross stitch pattern from Heartstring Samplery featuring a stitch mat and a needle book with the theme "Bee still my heart"!

Stitch counts:
- Stitch mat: 143w x 88h
- Needle book: 123w x 68h

This design by Imaginating features a woman with a smirk and the text "Go ahead. Underestimate me. This will be fun."

Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC thread. Stitch count: 118w x 95h.

Mantises and irises are popping up everywhere this spring, and this female is living her best life. Size is 92w by 64h and is stitched with Classic Colorworks cotton floss in Rainy Day, Pickled Beets, Honeycomb, and four shades of DMC. Fabric shown is 32 count Weeks Dye Works Light Khaki. Love,... Read more about Mantis Life - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Meridian Designs featuring a dinosaurs watching a meteor fall from the sky with the phrase "Keep looking up"!
Model stitched on 32 ct. Freya Belfast using DMC thread. Stitch count is 100 x 99.

Cross Stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "When life shuts a door, open it again, it's a door. That's how it works"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Black Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 100w x 128h.

Cross stitch pattern from Sister Lou Stitches featuring a snowman having a really bad time at the beach..."It's a bad , bad day to be a snowman"!

Pattern is stitched on 18 ct Let's Build a Snowman from The Slovak Farm using DMC, Classic Colorworks, and Gentle Arts threads. Stitch count is 100 x 100.

Cross stitch pattern from Imaginating featuring the phrase "Let's put the fun back in dysfunctional"!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 81w x 114h. Finished size is 5.79" x 8.14".

For the social butterfly who's gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase "I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me"-complete with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the universal "nope" hands. Whether you're stitching for yourself or a... Read more about Ex People Person - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Sue Hillis featuring "Santa's real helpers", aka alcohol!

Stitched on 16/32 Antique white using DMC threads. Stitch count is 67w x 67h. Finished size is 4.8" x 4.8".

Contents: chart only. Please note: no fabric, threads, or hoop included.

Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered by a toddler!

Stitched on 14ct. White Aida using DMC Floss. Stitch count: 110w x 130h. Finished size is 7.9" x 9.3".

Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting "send." With hand-drawn style lettering and expressive details, it blends humor and honesty into a piece that's guaranteed to get laughs and knowing nods. A fun... Read more about Friendly Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.

A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch to your seasonal stitching collection or gifting to someone who dreams of warmer weather.

Pattern is stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 98w x 138h. Finished size is 7" x 9.9".

Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a crab at the beach with the phrase "Beach please"!

Model is stitched on linen of your choice using Romy's Creations with DMC conversion. Stitch count is 60 X 59. Finished size 3.75 in wide X 3.69 in high.

"My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine, you make me smile with my heart. Stay little Valentine stay."

Model stitched on 36 Ct. Sand Linen by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 125x333. Finished Size: 7" x 19"

"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee."

Model stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Finished Size: 8" x 4"

Model stitched on 32 Ct. Macchiato Linen using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 51W x 63H and the finished size is 3.19" x 3.94".

"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"

Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 60w x 62h.

My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92w x 107h.

Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off! And yes, I can say this because I am old!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 70w x 87h.

Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for yourself or a friend.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 81h.

What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.

Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 71h.

Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 84w x 90h.

If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to go with me no matter what room I'm going in. "I will follow you wherever you go, bathroom included"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 64.

Yup, happened at my house. And there was apparently a whole army of dust bunnies.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 96w x 91h.

This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 91h.

I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.

Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.