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Funny Cross Stitch Patterns Page 3

Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! "Getting old ain't for sissies. It takes strength, courage and tenacity...and that's just to get dressed in the morning"!

Pattern is stitched on White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 143 x 133

This Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals

$6.50  $6.17
Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. VERY annoying. "I have reached an age where my mind says I can do that! But my body says try it and you'll be sorry"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 89.

Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals

$7.00  $6.65
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.

A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals

$6.50  Sale $5.52
Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
Pattern by Joan Elliot featuring the prayer "God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to know the difference".

Stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 101W x 129H and the finished size is 7" x 9".

Stubborn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches

$12.00  Sale $9.59
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea, don't carry, using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 84 x 78.

Envious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches

$12.00  Sale $9.59
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 95 x 92.

Bitter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches

$12.00  $10.79
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea; we do not carry, using Gentle Art threads listed. Stitch count is 88 x 96.
Cross stitch pattern from Lucy Beam featuring a funny "In Case of Cross Stitch Break Glass" sign.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Woodstove from Lapin Loops with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. The stitch count is 67 x 51 and the finished size is 4.19" x 3.19".
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more about I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more about I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more about I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern

What The Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders

$4.50  Sale $3.82
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 114w x 120h.
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring an absolutely great DOG Saying / Phrase! Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Thank You For Feeding Me And Picking Up My Poo. Perfect for any home with dogs!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 117w x 139h.

Coffeeology - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders

$10.00  $9.49
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring COFFEEOLOGY SUBWAY STYLE DESIGN! What a great project for any coffee lover! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 209w x 269h.
Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring five happy funny frog designs. Each design is 35 stitches wide by 35 stitches high. Great as magnets or ornaments. These are a fun stitch whether stitched on fabric, plastic canvas, perforated paper or on their matching wood blanks!

... Read more about Happy Funny Frogs Rounded Squared - Cross Stitch Pattern
UGLINESS CAN BE FIXED. STUPIDITY IS FOREVER. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109... Read more about Sassy Threads - Ugliness - Cross Stitch Pattern
SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads - Sorry - Cross Stitch Pattern
IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME. NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads.... Read more about Sassy Threads - It's Okay - Cross Stitch Pattern
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads - It's A Beautiful Day - Cross Stitch
I'M NOT WEIRD I'M LIMITED EDITION guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads - I'm Not Weird - Cross Stitch Pattern
I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - I Run - Cross Stitch Pattern
HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Hold On - Cross Stitch Pattern
EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Eye Rolling - Cross Stitch Pattern
CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.



Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide... Read more about Sassy Threads - Caution - Cross Stitch Pattern
BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads Born To Argue - Cross Stitch Pattern
BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Be Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern
ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Zero Meows - Cross Stitch Pattern
SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Sarcasm Level - Cross Stitch Pattern
LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II-Looks Aren't Everything - Cross Stitch
KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Kiss My Sass - Cross Stitch Pattern
I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I'm Just A Person - Cross Stitch
I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Eat Cake - Cross Stitch Pattern
I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more about Sassy Threads II - I Don't Like - Cross Stitch Pattern
BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Butt First Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Be A Stiletto - Cross Stitch Pattern

Deja Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$9.00  $8.54
This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style says "Deja Poo - a feeling that one has see or heard this crap before."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Shadow linen from Picture This Plus with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 70x70. Finished size: 4.37" x 4.37".

Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$11.00  $10.44
This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"

Real Men - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$9.00  Sale $7.64
Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.

Hot Showers - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$9.00  $8.54
I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works

Size Matters - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$13.00  $12.34
Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.
5 stars out of 5

Sentence Enhancing - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$13.00  $12.34
Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.

Good Heart - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$13.00  $12.34
I've got a Good Heart.....but this Mouth!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Oatmeal" linen from Fiber on a Whim using Classic Colorworks, Gentle Arts, and Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count is 75 x 112.

The Higher the Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie

$11.00  Sale $9.39
The Higher the Hair the closer to Jesus!

Model was stitched on 32 ct linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks, Colour and Cotton, The Gentle Arts, Weeks and Wisper from Rainbow Gallery. Stitch count is 83 x 54. Finished Size: 4.6 x 3.0.

Meowerlyn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by December Stitches

$12.00  $11.49
Cross stitch pattern from December Stitches featuring a cat dressed as Merlin doing magic!

Pattern is stitched on 25 ct White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 78 x 170.

Be a Mystery - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Forbidden Fiber Co

$10.00  Sale $7.99
This cross stitch pattern from Forbidden Fiber Co features the phrase "If you're going to be an open book, be a mystery"!

The model is stitched on 32 count Belfast Linen. Stitch count is 150 x 95. Finished size is 9.4" x 5.9".
5 stars out of 5

All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate

$10.00  $8.99
"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC. Stitch count: 45 x 101H.

We're Not Gossiping - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate

$10.00  Sale $7.99
Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.

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