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Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns Page 2

4.5 stars out of 5
Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little House Needleworks
$7.00  $629
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Hen Party by Little House Needleworks features a cute farm scene with chickens roaming around in front of a house and red barn.

Model stitched on 28 ct. linen using DMC & Crescent Colours floss. The stitch count is 82 x 54 and the finished size is 5.86" x 3.86".

Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company.
5 stars out of 5
Wear A Smile - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Blue Flower Button sold separately.
4 stars out of 5
Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00  $539
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Pattern by Bobbie G Designs featuring some wine bottles with the phrase, "Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."

Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC. Stitch count: 44W x 140H and the finished size is 3.14" x 10".
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00  $539
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61 x 65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
5 stars out of 5
Patch Patch Patch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Kooler Design Studio
$9.95  Sale $895
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Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.
If You Fall - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$15.00  $1349
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"You & I are sisters. If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up - after I stop laughing!" Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Stitch Count: 216H x 119W. Design Size: 15.42" x 8.50"
Humorous Halloween 4 Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00  Sale $959
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Model stitched on 14 ct. Aida in Natural Brown using DMC threads. Stitch count for Dead & Breakfast Inn is 45 x 61, Stay for a Bite 43 x 62, Get Sheet Faced 45 x 62, Boo Ya 42 x 58.
5 stars out of 5
Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00  $809
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!"

Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70 x 121.

Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana... Read more
Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00  $1079
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"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time."

Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Finished Size: 11" x 9"
In Case of Cross Stitch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Lucy Beam featuring a funny "In Case of Cross Stitch Break Glass" sign.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Woodstove from Lapin Loops with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. The stitch count is 67 x 51 and the finished size is 4.19" x 3.19".
5 stars out of 5
All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  Sale $799
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"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC. Stitch count: 45 x 101H.
We're Not Gossiping - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00  $899
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Pattern from Lizzie Kate that says "We're not gossiping, we're networking!" Stitched on 27ct Cream Northern Cross linen with Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works, and DMC threads. DMC and Anchor conversions for hand-dyed threads provided. Teal button included. Stitch count: 44w x 101h.
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $404 to $449
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched over two threads on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
5 stars out of 5
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00  $449
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched over 2 on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
4.5 stars out of 5
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack."

Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Finished size is 4.93 in wide X 4.79 in high.
5 stars out of 5
Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
5 stars out of 5
All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  Sale $639
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"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.
Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.
4.5 stars out of 5
Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.
5 stars out of 5
Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
5 stars out of 5
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
5 stars out of 5
Very Faint Line, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.
5 stars out of 5
Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$799
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"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
Dirty Dishes - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This cute design from the kitchen by New York Dreamer says "The dishes are looking at me dirty again."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Kenneth from Grace Notes Fabric with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 114 x 86. Finished size: 7.12" x 5.37"
5 stars out of 5
Cross Stitching Forever - Cross Stitch Pattern
by New York Dreamer
$12.00  $1079
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This design from New York Dreamer says "Cross Stitching Forever, Housework Whenever!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Milk & Honey by Fiber on a Whim with Weeks Dye Works, Classic Colourworks, Gentle Art Sampler threads and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140x140. NOTE: design is shown on a custom bobbin frame which is not included.
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  $1259
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"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
Thrills & Spills - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$14.00  Clearance $838
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Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "I get such a thrill when I clean up your spill...said no one ever!"

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 117 wide x 161 high. Finished size: 8 1/2" wide x 11 1/2" high
Love You Warts'n All - Valentines Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.
Catfeinated - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Val's Stuff
$10.00  $899
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Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog, cup of coffee, and the pun "catfeinated".

Stitched on 27 Count Vintage Country Mocha Linda. Stitch Count: 53w x 80h Finished size is 3.93 in wide X 5.93 in high
Sassy Threads - Sorry - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is... Read more
Sassy Threads - I Run - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more
Sassy Threads - Hold On - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more
Sassy Threads - Caution - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.



Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide... Read more
Sassy Threads II - Zero Meows - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more
Sassy Threads II - Kiss My Sass - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more
Sassy Threads II - Butt First Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches high.... Read more
Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  Sale $934
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"
5 stars out of 5
Shed Happens - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: Yep I said it! Shed Happens! It's a good think I got good photos of this before my little cat chewed off the bow and ripped up the linen! Funny she picked the Dog one out of all of them sitting there waiting to get photographed. I have included a photo of the little... Read more
Beach Please - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1799
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the words "Beach Please" on a background of ocean waves with a palm tree and rising sun.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 181 and the finished size is 7.9" x 12.9".
Boo Bees - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1799
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring two bumblebees dressed up like ghosts with the words "Boo Bees".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 148 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.6".
Book Is Better - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1399
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring books on a shelf and the saying "The Book is Always Better".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 97 and the finished size is 7.9" x 6.9".
Buttercup - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $2099
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a yellow flower border with the words "Suck It Up Buttercup" in script in the center.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 209 x 153 and the finished size is 14.9" x 10.9".
Buying Supplies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1399
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the funny phrase "As I get Older, I'm finding out that buying supplies and using them are two seperate hobbies" with sewing notions.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 160 x 150 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.7".
Candy Corn - Halloween Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1099
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring an angry looking candy corn with the words "Yeah, well I don't like you either".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 89 x 125 and the finished size is 6.4" x 8.9".
Canning Season - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1799
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with a ball mason jar and the words "Grab your balls, it's canning season".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 182 and the finished size is 10" x 13".
Cats Make Me Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1799
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a black cat in front of a colorful background with the words "Cats make me happy, humans make my head hurt".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 143 x 190 and the finished size is 10.2" x 13.6".
Chickens Crossing Roads - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1799
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a chicken with the funny words "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 149 x 208 and the finished size is 10.6" x 14.9".
Climb A Cactus - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$599 to $1399
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a cactus with the words "Go Climb A Cactus".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 96 and the finished size is 7.9" x 6.9".


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