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Funny Page 5

Yes I Sew - Embroidered Hand Towel
by Aunt Martha's
$10.00  Sale $750
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Aunt Martha's dirty laundry - silk screened 100% cotton flour sack towels. 28" x 28". Design is approximately 7" printed on the bottom center. "Yes, i sew. And no, I won't hem your pants".
Clean House - Embroidered Hand Towel
by Aunt Martha's
$10.00  $840
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Aunt Martha's dirty laundry - silk screened 100% cotton flour sack towels. 28" x 28". Design is approximately 7" printed on the bottom center. "A clean house is a sign of a broken sewing machine".
Like Wine - Embroidered Hand Towel
by Aunt Martha's
$10.00  Sale $750
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Aunt Martha's dirty laundry - silk screened 100% cotton flour sack towels. 28" x 28". Design is approximately 7" printed on the bottom center. "It's like wine. Fabric gets better with age. It is an investment really"
I Just Want To Drink, Craft, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crafting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Craft and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork by... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Crochet, and Nap - Cross Stitch
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any crocheting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea ....Crotchet and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Hunt, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  $665
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any hunting enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Hunting and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
I Just Want To Drink, Gamble, and Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$7.00  Sale $595
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a great saying for any gambling enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... Gamble and Take Naps! Included in chart are five beverages and also five color combinations for you to choose from. Licensed artwork... Read more
What The Elf - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  $427
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 114w x 120h.
Dear Santa I Want It All! - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50  $427
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring a Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 138w x 100h.
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue...Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$6.00  $569
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring an absolutely great DOG Saying / Phrase! Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Thank You For Feeding Me And Picking Up My Poo. Perfect for any home with dogs!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC floss. Stitch count is 117w x 139h.
Happy Funny Frogs Rounded Squared - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
$8.00  Sale $679
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Cross stitch pattern from Cross Stitch Wonders featuring five happy funny frog designs. Each design is 35 stitches wide by 35 stitches high. Great as magnets or ornaments. These are a fun stitch whether stitched on fabric, plastic canvas, perforated paper or on their matching wood blanks!

... Read more
Deja Poo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style says "Deja Poo - a feeling that one has see or heard this crap before."

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Shadow linen from Picture This Plus with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 70x70. Finished size: 4.37" x 4.37".
Arrive Late - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1044
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This cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style features the saying "Better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!"

The model was stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Grandpa's Shop Rag linen from Lapin Loops with Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 120x85. Finished size: 7.5" x 5.3"
Fat Pants - Thanksgiving Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  Sale $1104
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Cross stitch pattern from Dirty Annie's Southern Style featuring the phrase "Happy Thanksgiving, Get your fat pants ready"!

Model was stitched on 32ct "Winter Moon" linen from Zweigart and trimmed with "Chickie" poms from Lady Dot. Stitch count is 104 x 145.
Trophy Husband - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: My husband was pleased as punch when I designed this chart in his honor and mark my words, Your cowboy will be just as tickled when you stitch this up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct linen. Stitch count is 63 x 63.
Real Men - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  $854
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Note from designer: That's right ya'll! Real men have curves! I don't know about you but I prefer my cowboy with a little meat on his bones!

Model was stitched on 32ct Witch Tina linen from Fairy Wool in the Wood. Stitch count is 51 x 60.
Hot Showers - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$9.00  Sale $764
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I take really Hot Showers to avoid burning in Hell!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct "Boneyard" Linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks and Weeks Dye Works
Fun and Games - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$15.00  $1424
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Don't drop your nuts!

Stitched on 32ct "Medusa's Gaze" by Lapin Loops using threads from Classic Colorworks, DMC, Gentle Art, Threadworx, and Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 139 x 99.
Size Matters - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$13.00  $1234
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Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.
Big Dill - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$15.00  $1424
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This little dill is actually ya really big dill! The chart was conceived of during the wee hours of a cross stitch retreat when my tablemates and I were a bit punch drunk from Stitching for 2 days!

The little beads are included with the chart! (50 of each color plus a few extra)

... Read more
The Higher the Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Dirty Annie
$11.00  $1049
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The Higher the Hair the closer to Jesus!

Model was stitched on 32 ct linen from Be Stitch me using threads from Classic Colorworks, Colour and Cotton, The Gentle Arts, Weeks and Wisper from Rainbow Gallery. Stitch count is 83 x 54. Finished Size: 4.6 x 3.0.
Meowerlyn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by December Stitches
$12.00  $1149
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Cross stitch pattern from December Stitches featuring a cat dressed as Merlin doing magic!

Pattern is stitched on 25 ct White using DMC threads. Stitch count is 78 x 170.
Scissor Sleuth - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  Sale $1039
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Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the phrase "My heart doth brim with discontent. I know not where my scissors went"!

Stitched on 18ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 133 x 54.
Cross Stitch Cardio - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Silver Creek Samplers
$13.00  $1169
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Cross Stitch pattern from Silver Creek Samplers featuring the phrase "Cross stitch is my cardio. My backsides have never looked better"!

Stitched on 18 ct fabric using DMC floss. Stitch count is 178 x 63. Finished Size: 10" x 3 1/2".
Stabby - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Stitcherhood
$4.00  $379
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Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and stitched in DMC floss: dark gray (#3799) and red (#321). Feel free to substitute colors and fabrics to your taste. Stitch Count is 120 Wide by 110 High. Will measure... Read more
Funny Monkey - Quilt Pattern
by Stacy Iest Hsu for Moda
$12.00  Sale $899
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Project Size: 45.5" x 63"

Skill Level: Intermediate
I Survived 2020 - Perfectly Clear Stamps
by Stampendous
$16.00  Clearance $958
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Clear stamp from Stampendous featuring hand sanitizer, toilet paper, cleaning tools, washed hands, and the humorous sentiments "I survived the great toilet paper crisis of 2020", "watch out! I'm now a clean, mean, germ fighting machine!", "may it never be...", "virtual... Read more
Winter Puns - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitchy Prose
$10.00  $899
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Meet the final installment of my seasonal pillow puns, Winter Puns! Embrace the magic of winter (or daydreaming for tropical weather) by stitching these adorable snowmen. "Go with the snow" "License to chill"

Stitched on 32ct Raw Natural Linen by Zweigart using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 60W x 60H each.
Happiness Potion - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Twin Peak Primitives
$8.00  $719
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Model inspired by our lovely White Cat Sugar Boy'. Figures are belonging to his daily routine. Cat owners can divert the white color to their bellowed one's colors

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct. Zweigart Cashel Linen Evenweave with DMC floss. Stitch count is 80 x 92 and the finished size is 5.72" x 6.57".
If You Can Read This - Zappy Band
by Zappy Dots
$19.99  Clearance $1198
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"If you can read this you are too close" This Zappy Band puts the fun in functional! Protect yourself from the harsh sun and other outdoor elements including dirt, sand, sea-spray, and wind - and look great while doing it!

Constructed as a tubular bandana, the Zappy Band is made... Read more

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