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Funny Page 5

Act My Age - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for yourself or a friend.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 81h.
Retired - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.
Crazy Cat Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 74h.
Crazy Dog Person - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  Sale $595
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Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 71h.
I Will Follow You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to go with me no matter what room I'm going in. "I will follow you wherever you go, bathroom included"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 64.
Cleaning Fairy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Yup, happened at my house. And there was apparently a whole army of dust bunnies.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 96w x 91h.
Old and Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm wise! "The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 89 x 89.
When I Was a Kid - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 95w x 91h.
Sit on the Floor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. "Note to self, do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 98 x 115.
Good Grief - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it. "When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Good grief"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 90 x 91.
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  $617
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Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! "Getting old ain't for sissies. It takes strength, courage and tenacity...and that's just to get dressed in the morning"!

Pattern is stitched on White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 143 x 133
Talk to Myself - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.50  Sale $638
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"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.
Lots of Stuff - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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"I had a lot of stuff to do today...now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow"! Well yeah - that's my usual day.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92 x 96.
Wonder Years - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.
A Nap - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps. "You know you've grown up when a nap is no longer a punishment but a reward"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 125 x 105.
Nothing Done - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$8.50  Sale $722
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And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day. "Some days it takes me all day to get nothing done"! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 102 x 79.
Patience Tested - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$7.00  $665
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Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 107w x 92h.
So Much to Do - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
$6.50  Sale $552
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Pretty much says it all -

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 93w x 94h.
Season Finale - Cling Stamp
by Impression Obsession
$5.40  Clearance $323
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Cling stamp from Impression Obsession featuring the humorous new year's sentiment "anyone else concerned about the 2020 season finale?"
No Stars - Cling Stamp
by Impression Obsession
$5.40  Clearance $323
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Cling stamp from Impression Obsession featuring a funny 1 star review for the year 2020 - "If I could give this no stars, I would"!
Masks - Cling Stamp
by Impression Obsession
$6.20  $538
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Cling stamp from Impression Obsession featuring the funny COVID mask sentiment "masks are the new bra... they aren't comfortable, you only wear them in public, people will notice when you don't wear one, and you can now get them in every color pattern and style"!
Chili Pepper Sayings - Clear Stamp
by Impression Obsession
$13.00  Sale $999
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Clear stamp from Impression Obsession featuring the spicy phrases "Some like it hot", "Hello-peno", "Hot stuff", "Haba great day", "Keep calm and chili on", "I've got the hots for you", ""Just chili-in", "You're so spicy",... Read more
Out To Dry - Embroidery Kit
by Dimensions
$12.79  Sale $1022
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Add a touch of whimsy to your laundry area with Out to Dry by Dimensions. Simple embroidery stitches make this a fun project. Design (C) 2021 World Art Group by Jennifer Paxton Parker. This package contains presorted thread, printed white fabric, needle, and instructions. Finished size: 6x6 inches. Design: Out To Dry.
Patch Patch Patch - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Kooler Design Studio
$9.95  Sale $895
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Are you feeling your age??? After 40 it's Patch, Patch, Patch! A whimsical celebrtion of the joys of reaching "matu-rut-y". Stitch Count 51w X 75h. Finished size on 10-count 5" X 7". Model stitched on 10 Count Cream Tula.
Stubborn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea, don't carry, using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 84 x 78.
Envious - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea using Gentle Art threads. Stitch count is 95 x 92.
Bitter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$12.00  $1079
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Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"!

The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal from Under The Sea; we do not carry, using Gentle Art threads listed. Stitch count is 88 x 96.
Just One More Episode - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Puntini Puntini
$12.00  $1079
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"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself"

Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch Count: 103 x 63.
Funny Penguins - Cross Stitch Kit
by Riolis
$27.52  $2581
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Cross stitch kit from Riolis featuring four baby penguin chicks! This package contains 14 count white Zweigart Aida fabric, Safil wool/acrylic yarn in twenty colors, one needle, instructions and color chart. Design: Funny Penguins. Finished Size: 15.75x9.75 inches.
Writer Of Meowmoirs - Cross Stitch Kit
by Riolis
$36.90  $3320
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Cross stitch kit from Riolis featuring a cat writing about its own life! Meows-merizing!

Kit contains 30 wool/acrylic threads, Zweigart 14ct. white AIDA, chart and needle. Size is 8.25" x 11.75"
Foxy The Imposter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Pattern is stitched on 32 count linen fabrics with DMC. Stitch count: 71 x 68.
Sharkshund - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Pattern is stitched on 32 count linen with DMC. Stitch count: 96 x 75.
Stabby Squirrel - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  Sale $959
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a spicy squirrel stabbing fabric with a needle!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count hand dyed linen with DMC and Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 67 x 69.

In addition to DMC and threads listed, Romy's Threads are also required: Barbara's Pumpkin, Tuscan Experience, Scarlet, Brown Sugar and Charcoal.
Nurse Ratched - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Romy's Creations
$12.00  $1079
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Cross stitch pattern from Romy's Creations featuring a nurse who is also a rat!

Pattern is stitched on 32 count Belfast linen vintage country mocha by Zweigart with Romy's Creations threads. Stitch count is 40 x 73.
Funny Monkey - Quilt Pattern
by Stacy Iest Hsu for Moda
$12.00  Sale $899
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Project Size: 45.5" x 63"

Skill Level: Intermediate
I Survived 2020 - Perfectly Clear Stamps
by Stampendous
$16.00  Clearance $958
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Clear stamp from Stampendous featuring hand sanitizer, toilet paper, cleaning tools, washed hands, and the humorous sentiments "I survived the great toilet paper crisis of 2020", "watch out! I'm now a clean, mean, germ fighting machine!", "may it never be...", "virtual... Read more
Winter Puns - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitchy Prose
$10.00  $899
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Meet the final installment of my seasonal pillow puns, Winter Puns! Embrace the magic of winter (or daydreaming for tropical weather) by stitching these adorable snowmen. "Go with the snow" "License to chill"

Stitched on 32ct Raw Natural Linen by Zweigart using Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch count is 60W x 60H each.
Beach Please - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the words "Beach Please" on a background of ocean waves with a palm tree and rising sun.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 181 and the finished size is 7.9" x 12.9".
Boo Bees - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring two bumblebees dressed up like ghosts with the words "Boo Bees".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 159 x 148 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.6".
Book Is Better - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring books on a shelf and the saying "The Book is Always Better".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 111 x 97 and the finished size is 7.9" x 6.9".
Buying Supplies - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring the funny phrase "As I get Older, I'm finding out that buying supplies and using them are two seperate hobbies" with sewing notions.

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 160 x 150 and the finished size is 11.4" x 10.7".
Canning Season - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with a ball mason jar and the words "Grab your balls, it's canning season".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 182 and the finished size is 10" x 13".
Cats Make Me Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a black cat in front of a colorful background with the words "Cats make me happy, humans make my head hurt".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 143 x 190 and the finished size is 10.2" x 13.6".
Chickens Crossing Roads - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a chicken with the funny words "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 149 x 208 and the finished size is 10.6" x 14.9".
Crops Out - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a row of plant crops with the words "Rock Out With Your Crops Out".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 167 x 78 and the finished size is 11.9" x 5.6".
Define Naughty - Christmas Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$1875
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny Christmas pattern that reads " Dear Santa, Define Naughty".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 107 x 74 and the finished size is 7.6" x 5.3".
Dill With It - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a pickle and the words "Dill With It".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 141 x 200 and the finished size is 10.1" x 14.3".
Dog Approved - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Stitch Wit
$2325
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Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with paw prints and dog bones and the words "All guests must be approved by the dog".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 167 x 169 and the finished size is 11.9" x 12.1".


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